so it turns out you can rearrange the letters in "scottsdale" to spell "milf city." who knew?
GOOD IDEA: Stealing the bike a couple blocks away so I don't have to walk. BAD IDEA: riding bike for the first time in years drunk as hell. I'm bleeding and my body hurts and once again I can't find my car.
do you think women who transgender themselves have the option of getting a circumcised or an uncircumcised dick?
If the first sentence isn't something about weed or the nature of choclate I'm skipping class.
sitting in class between the roommates of the two girls i fucked over break. this feels like a bad version of wife swap
We had to introduce ourselves in ethics class. This guy stood up said I'm mark, I love sluts and Jack. Then just sat back down. Hero status.
I look at sleeping with him as a way to get up in the world. He will lead me on to bigger and better penises.
the parents are super pissed...made eye contact with the mom while going down on another girl
I'm hungry
Come here to eat and play. It'll be like Dave and Busters except with sex
Now I get the fucking shakes every time I hear I'm Sexy And I Know It. Thanks, Captain Morgan.
You cant come. You're a Colorado native who drinks Bud over Coors. Fucking homegrown terrorist.
Maybe just the first 2 wks of Nov can be dick detox.
I'm prostituting myself for tickets to Disney World. There's a contradiction there.
Your vagina needs to teach my vagina its ways.
ya well i woke up to my roommate spraying me with windex...
Randomize
