Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(832): View more from Houston, Texas

Then my mouth guard fell out of the hole, so that's how the dog poop got in my mouth.

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(514): View more from Quebec

you finished all 5 burgers, started crying tears of joy, and then claimed the tears were actually just 'meat sweats' from your eyes

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(540): View more from Virginia

Woke up to a huge puddle of water in the living room floor, apparently I made an indoor snowman.

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(971): View more from Oregon

he's hot he just has too much baggage, and has really fucking skinny ankles which freaks me out

(916): View more from California

you aren't having sex with his ankles, As long as knee caps and above are good, i'd go for it

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(507): View more from Minnesota

You used the best tools you had at your disposal.

(651): View more from Minnesota

Slutty, slutty tools.

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(773): View more from Illinois

Mm. I just want to eat pancakes off of his fine ass.

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(763): View more from Minnesota

Are you going to eat tacos off the floor again?

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(402): View more from Nebraska

Is it normal, that tacos make me horny?

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(513): View more from Ohio

He just took off his shirt. I'll text you later.

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