So his roomate was eating breakfast when I was sneaking out. He's the guy I took home from jessicas wedding. I ended up eating coco puffs with him
Just another sign I need to get out of this town
let's bang
You're in my phone as 'Weird Bus Guy' so I think my answer's no.
my fake id says im a 34 yr old russian lady ... how is this working
the only compliment i could think of for this chick was that she looked 'moderately attractive'
Just interrupted a freshman tour to ask where the sexual health center is. Figured I'd just give us all what we were really looking for.
We're not even buying beer. Just vodka. In pre-retrospect this was a bad idea but we're doing it anyway
Until you wake up with a Hustler club stripper in the next room whose nipple you were coerced to lick at Snake & Jake's after breaking up a fight between an Indian and a Filipino, I don't wanna hear about your weird.
im actually trying to see how many sex dolls we need for our raft so we can stay buoyant while we attack kayakers
Wearing a french maid costume for Halloween sure did help me meet girls
Dude, they all thought you were gay.
I can not be a lesbian living on Beaverland.
He just texted me a video of him jerking off. He must really be looking forward to the Super Bowl.
I'm on A4A looking at dick pics while the CEO is on the phone trying to convince me not to leave the company
I'm now at a gay bar with our relatives
After I asked for my 6th Gin & Tonic, the look on the flight attendant's face started to make me feel bad about myself.
Yeah, so if you ever try to steal it, just know my tongue's been on it in several occasions. All over it.
Randomize
