I cannot find my penis.
You should really figure out how to get me a picture that will pop up on my phone when you call
Just upload a picture of Bea Arthur. That's what my soul looks like these days
Just farted in public and tried to sniff it all up before anyone noticed...do you think that actually works?
He threw a goldfish cracker into my toilet and then proceeded to laugh for 32 minutes. I timed it.
You sprayed lemon pledge on your crotch because it was "dusty"
What's the point of having 3 fuck buddies when their periods all seem to sync up
I feel like banging her is an expected thing. But banging you would be like getting a 36 on the ACT.
The lego bong didn't work. Just made us look stupid
she worked me into her spring break cardio plan. im mondays and wednesdays.
He titled his birthday party on facebook, "BJ's in PJ's- an adult slumber party." I'm the only one invited.
Where's Taylor bro?
Never mind found him under the sink
I had mdma, weed, and alcohol in my system. My doctor seems to think that's how I tore my groin.
You want to know how I feel? I feel like Cady Heron pushed me in front of a bus last night.
I should've left when he told me that he only smoked crack by accident once
Im 76 percent sure I took a fully clothed shower last night.
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