So I'm playing pool in my cowboy boots and some guy came up looks at my boots and goes, "you should've got the boots with the fur"
thanks for house sitting, cat must be hiding again... everything go ok?
... about that ...
Just saw truck nuts on a handicap conversion van
You were in the bathroom for two hours practicing "Revenge Faces".
hey, when you wake up, search yourself on youtube
my sister already found it, were watching it right now. i give it 2 thumbs up.
We just made a drinking game out of our chemistry review. This might explain my chemistry grade.
My fridge broke, and apparently the back is missing. The repair guy just fixed it with a pizza box. I didn't ask where the box came from, but it wasn't mine. Reason #20 why rent is cheap.
Theres either a bag of coke in my pocket or a bag of anthrax, either way last night got way to serious
He told me "it wants a kiss" WHY HAS THIS HAPPENED WITH 2 DIFFERENT PEOPLE.
Hmmm. I never knew the difference. I've done either one and had stronger or weaker versions but usually if i took enough, i tripped balls. That should be a PSA for kids... if you take drugs and the drugs are weak, just take more drugs... The More You Know
I just want to be covered in whipped cream and spanked, is that too much to ask?
I should not be this drunk in a place where a girl is wearing a princess dress
Does your drug dealer have a printer I can use??
I jizzed in his mayonnaise and put it back in the fridge. Shouldn't have stolen my weed.
you were huddled over the toilet, throwing up, and every few seconds you'd look up and say "this is such a waste of vodka" then put your head back down and start puking again
Randomize
