It was as awful as eating cow testicles on fear factor and not winning and realizing you ate balls for nothing.
Dude if I didn't piss myself last night I dont think I would have woke up in time for work.
having sex with him was like banging macgyver. he did the most amazing shit with the simplest things
blowing a .13 at 10 AM isn't nearly as cool as I thought it would be.
his semen tasted like maple syrup. no wonder fat girls always wanna fuck him.
it's great music for shaving your balls
so not only am i rooming with two chicks on the volleyball team, but we just put down the deposit on a hot tub. this is going to be the best summer ever for my dick.
there are teeth marks in the soap. why are there teeth marks in the soap.
If this outfit doesn't get me pregnant tonight I don't know what will...
its official: beach shits are the exact same as mountain shits
I hate cuddling. I also hate when people breathe. Which he did, a lot. So he can go to hell.
She finally pulled over after almost hitting 4 cars and a semi and asked me if i was rwady i told her to let my penis to come back out
At one point 12 people dressed in care bear onesies were up on stage grinding super nasty, and two of the girl Care Bears were making out.
If this wasn't a hallucination, we need to go to this magical kingdom every night of the week.
He was going down on me and all I could think about was how proud of me you'd be
I'm gonna write a book entitled "when you give a cop a cookie..."
I don't even want to know.
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