does the new i-phone have a pregnancy test app?
I just overhead some girl saying that she's trying out for the real world so she has a backup if she doesn't get into teach for america...
something about eating while taking a crap just doesn't seem safe to me.
I just texted him to come over because I want to see if his hand fits the handprint bruise on my ass.....I feel like the cinderella of S&M
hey got me stoned for the first time when i was 14. there is no bond stronger
Last night must have been awesome, my dog still smells like vomit.
Drinking with mariachis at jimmy johns.
Woke up with eyeliner streaked down my face, glitter all over my bed, and holding half-eaten Jimmy Johns. Plus, my whole family's downstairs for Thanksgiving... Welcome to the shitshow that is my early 20s
I have no idea. But I feel like I could climb a mountain and then have sex on it.
Also I just had a flash back ... He told me I have nice nipples and then asked me about yours..
Milk that cash cow for all the shots she's worth
When he couldn't get it up, he handed me a beer, put his clothes back on, and said "try again tomorrow."
Haha no we did it on his bed. Then rolled off into the bean bag. It was a strangely athletic performance on my behalf.
It's now officially the Christmas season, so I have no shame in drinking evernog.
Had a dream last night that we survived the apocalypse. And we celebrated Christmas.
What did I get you?
A 12 gauge and a bottle of vodka that was waist high.
Sounds about right
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