I don't think brook has ever known best
Being pregnant is so damn inconvenient for my sex life.
I think my penis got bigger when i lost weight
Do you think girls in gamma phi sit around and think about how much they suck?
why do you have a stuffed bear wearing a thong and a seatbelt in your backseat??
I dont care how high you are, meat and sprinkles dont mix dude
I just told you I can't. My fingers are melting. I have discovered the high.
They can be so fun, drunk bruises are like clues to the treasure of what actually happened last night. "why do I have a bruise on my belly button? oh right. i was trying to turn my stomach off so I would stop throwing up."
If this party got busted it would be an improvement
Now I don't feel so bad about telling everyone that he's 23 and needs Viagra. It's her problem now
He's slurring his text. I didn't think that was possible.
I sense naked hashbrown eating in my near future.
how soon in a friendship can you start calling them a motherfucker
This is why I can't take dates to shows... I've literally made out with everyone in this band. And two of the guys in the crowd. And the bartender.
he went down on me and a few minutes later he asked to show me a magic trick. then he pulled a quarter out of my vagina
Randomize
