Flowers- 20. Dinner-50. Drinks- 25. Hotel- 150. The look on his face when I tell him I'm on my period? Priceless.
I just love slightly exposed cleavage. Not too much to be whory but just enough to say "your kids will never go hungry"
using my metrocard to split lines. it says optimism on the back. i am optimistic that you will appear at my door and help me finish all these drugs.
I think my plan to not drink this week was just ruined by my mothers discovery of the chat function on facebook
Dear God. I kissed a man tonight who was born in 1936.
We got back together. The pastures weren't greener on the other side, the dicks were just smaller
The only thing in that hotel room that we didn't fuck on was the roof
She's pathetic and vulnerable..and short. Thats his type.
you reached into a lemon drop to pull out a lemon of someone else's drink..
fuck your need to drink for whitney a thousand times last night.
New favorite drinking game: bobbing for jello shots. Where did these freshmen come from and when can we go there?
Oh and I'm kind of in the library.
Waiting for the foreign guy who keeps staring to make his creepy move.
Last night I dreamt that I sold my car and used the money to have wheels surgically implanted in my feet and legs so I became a human heely and I just rolled everywhere
Look, the coffee machine died a noble death. It was the way it would have wanted to go. It was a mercy exploding, really.
You chased a rabbit then knocked on a police car and asked the cop "if he saw where that little bastard went."
Randomize
