SEEEEXXX PLEASE
You drank the expired grape juice because you were convinced it had fermented into wine...you have a problem.
it's all fun and games until somebody pulls the tampon string..
Drunk man just did a hand stand, fell over, knocked over a whole table of desserts, and didnt lose his cowboy hat. winner.
Watching Blossom reruns on YouTube. Eating Pringles dipped in hot chocolate. Not taking this breakup well.
you think she would figure it out that ever dude that fucks her is just doing it bc they are in a contest to bang the fattest girl
I just ate four packages of Swiss Rolls. Being high and on food stamps is AHmazing.
We need you. We already made it on global news and are drunk at the election party.
Shit stained towel. The very symbol of how much closer we are as friends. Fall 011... beautiful disaster
I found someone's tooth on the stairs when I was vacuuming, and my sister found a catheter in the men's bathroom... this cleaning job is dangerous
I've literally already typed in by booty call text for friday night. all I have to do now is wait for is drunk me to press send
my hand froze to the top of can of beer cuz i fell asleep outside. i decided to find a way to open the bottom of the can before addressing my severe frostbite. PRIORITIES!
Mom got high last night and started crying because she feels bad for Paula Deen. This is my family.
He has no idea he's waking up in slut palace tomorrow morning
Just remember I’m your roommate with extremely questionable morals
Exactly, what could possibly go wrong
Randomize
