i just ate that cheese stick that was in my purse from last night.
life just isnt the same w/o real world cancun
That poor kid, I literally invited myself over and took advantage of him.
yea I'm sure he was really upset some drunk girl showed up to fuck him.
Do you have to put it that way?
i had to cut you off after you shoved a bunch of bottle caps in your mouth and pretended you had braces.
he told me he was watching a movie and he'd be over later and i asked how long. he said 8 inches give or take. you cease to amaze me with the guys you set me up with.
I have a beer in one hand and a slim fast in another. It's another one of those wednesday nights.
All i want to do is drink fuck and cry... you dont have to cater all three its more like the saddest choose your own adventure ever
IT'S SUMMA TIME
ITS SUMMA TIME NOT BE HIGH ALL THE TIME TIME
THEY'RE THE SAME THING
She was into my hawaiian shirt and id never made out with a dinosaur... I feel like it worked out for everyone
Intramural soccer game tonight. Be ready for blood. I haven't sobered up since thursday
im far more worried about your salsa intake than your weed intake
Every time we have sex, I feel his dick ramming my soul into submission. Problem is..... I LIKE THAT SHIT!
I woke up and found my apartment really clean, appearantly drunk me couldn't tolerate living there anymore and left sober me a lot of insulting post-its...
We were having sex and he started doing some weird swivel move. I was like wtf and he said sorry just trying to pop my knee.
Also: I hate her so much. She's out at hooters, making spelling errors, while I'm literally sitting at a clinic getting std tested. Which of us won the morality award in this break up.
Randomize
