I just walked by a homeless man reading the money section of USA Today...
how do u look a man in the eye when u own both his daughters V-Cards?
sorry for the blank pocket text. My penis obviously has nothing to say to you.
at 6am he came into my room and kicked me in the stomach. when i finally got up he was passed out in my hallway and the bathtub water was running
I paid your cover too so you're on the list as tits mcgee. You're welcome :D
I need you to help me convince Steph that she will like Tequila if she would chase it with A-1
Eating an ice cream sandwich while your little bro gets me weed. May I adopt him?
You declared war on your ex and then had sex with who you thought was her sister. No one knows who she was but we think your dick might be in danger.
Is this the guy that did shots off my ass at the beach? Haha
The drunk people on this bus are singing Journey songs. This is the whitest thing I've ever experienced
It's a sad day when you can't take off your pants and drink a margarita at work.
Trying to take a nap and my brain decides to play "lets have flashbacks every time you blew it with a chick in college". It's a montage of stupidity and youthful inexperience. I don't know whether to laugh or cry.
I'm still working on figuring out my birthday blowjob schedule. I'd love to just have all three of them get in there but I get the feeling they wouldn't like that.
Hey, it's all about finding the bright side. And boobs are definitely a bright side.
When i was leaving for work this morning, i realized the neighbor was passed out drunk, with no pants, and a half eaten whopper on my lawn. Knowing that hey..we have all been there before.. i decided to give him a pillow and a blanket rather than wake him up.
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