I hope no one judges me for becoming a facebook fan of "Adderall" at 5:49 AM...
well, it ended with me crying outside the strip club saying i don't want to be 21 anymoree. i'd say it was a great 21st birthday.
is it bad i banged a 25yr kindergarten teacher last night?
No thats like a top 10
Hypothetical question: If a guy wanted to watch you fuck me, would you be willing to take a long lunch break on Wednesday?
yeah, but the first step is admitting you have a problem, the next step is kidnapping him
Gooodnight my beautiful sex angel. Much luvz for joo, etceteraz
July 5th AKA Day of regret AKA picnicing in a laundromat. Someone puked allover the comforter. Liffe of champions.
It's not quite a landing strip... It's more like a soul patch for my vagina.
He came to the party late, didn't bring tacos, and then asked what shennanigans we were getting into. I swear I will never fuck another hipster.
You know you have done too many drugs when you gum the sugar off your margarita without even thinking twice
I swear to god if I see a single piece of genitalia I'm driving back to LI and smacking you back to the Italian Renaissance
If I had a penis, I'd want to put it in you. And I'd treat you with respect and pay for your drinks.
Rebecca hasn't has this number in 3 months. Please tell all her friends to stop calling at 3 am. We are not interested in buying or selling drugs nor do we want to hook up with anyone. You all need to go to rehab.
I drank beer out of a Frisbee and it was all downhill from there...
well true... there's not a real discreet way to masturbate in public
Randomize
