how about we just leave your boyfriend out of this
gotta love it when a reminder comes up on your phone and u think u forgot about a meeting or something then u read it and its only to remind me to go to the titty bar at 3
I bet a guy could be masturbating under the table now and people would just think he was clapping along.
I will return your cat, I saw a mouse in my apt last night and your door was unlocked, it seemed really practical
She sucked her thumb until she was 17. It's like my dick was born to be in her mouth.
Yeah I remember I tried to close her head in the freezer last night
Nah, just ran around, pinned random men to walls, bit their lips of and booked it.
They're playing house music in my dentists office again, wtf is wrong with these people. That's not the music you want to get a root canal to
I just want every freshman guy to know about Grindr just so I can have more options
So is it safe to say that my only objective from last night is to finish this entire jar of peanut butter?
Would it be inappropriate to send a friend request to the sheriff that fingerprinted me last night???
We were watchin sharknado and we hooked up while I had the Donald Trump shirt on. She said she felt like he was staring at her
Thanks for reminding me of all the hookups my brain has been trying to suppress...
That's what friends are foooooooor!
Her blow jobs are legen wait for it seriously like 9 people I know brag about them dary
Had to claim I'd "gone lesbian" to get my cat back. Thank God I got away from that one.
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