dats a huuuuuge bitch!
who is this????
dunno bout you, but i grow tired of beef curtains
69 is so not fun when his penis is sporting a 70s hairstyle
I think jizz is working it's way to becoming my number 1 food source.
I know I said I wouldn't, but he told me I looked like Mila Kunis. Reasons not to fuck him, go.
He made me hold his dick and say "I solemnly swear that I'm up to no good"
I just want to go to their admissions office and show them the video of him taking the flaming shot, and be like yeah...you let in the kid who lit his entire face on fire over me.
Rather than admit to myself he's hooking up with her right now, I choose to believe that he's not responding because he's masturbating to my picture, distraught over his poor choice, and trying to forget about the one that got away with a heavy dose of meth.
I feel like butter and tequila would be excellent combination. Right now. Please do this in my name.
we used the fire extinguisher you had been cuddling with to decorate the cop car while they were inside arresting everyone
Then he kept saying sentences and ending them all with "the point of no return" even if it didn't make sense, and kept telling this other guy he wouldn't be his "wife son"
Taking advantage of alcohol's depressant capabilities to curtail my fever. SCIENCE!
Dude, you spit in your shirt pocket saying "I'm saving it for later" then dove head first into the pyramid of beer cans we set up.
she said that no one there was hot enough for her so she then proceeded to give the passed out person a lap dance because he was "her type."
Nice classy night out before we roll our faces off
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