how the fuck did you end up in georgia? you were here at my party dry humping some chick 2 hours ago
so you mean to tell me that there is no way you can get me?
That shit is worth it...they got medicine for that now a days
He sang nursery rhymes to my vagina to get me to have sex with him..
lesson learned: don't narrate out loud about how a girl is giving you head while she's doing it
Worst ten minutes of my life, it's was like trying to put a marshmallow in a piggy bank....
UPDATE: lighting the grill with Bacardi. Haven't slept. Forgot the hamburger buns. Almost out of our eighth handle.
Speaking of ejaculate, did you get the side of your car cleaned off?
Is "you left your socks here, please come get them" a good way of saying "come fuck me?"
I feel like "stop licking my face" isn't something that needs to be repeated twice
My makeup looks extraordinary for nine tequila shots, running four blocks, falling asleep with my face in the toilet, and doing the walk of shame across campus in the rain. And to think I'm single.
You had a hat of bras. Probably a good dozen, which is totally impressive for a Thirsty Thursday
Who's the easier target... Bandages on the knees, tramp stamp, or bra showing? Not in the mood to work for it tonight.
We can talk about your dick in my throat after a decision is made, this is my hair we're talking about. .. shit's important.
Wow. The LSU Tennessee game is on here and the LSU cheerleaders are stupid hot. Its weird having a hard on. At a bar. On a Wednesday. By yourself.
Your mankini haunted my dreams.
Randomize
