I stuck it in and pulled it out
Did she like it?
She giggled?
She liked it
It never fails.. every time I have a dick in my mouth he calls me.
honestly, i just want you to have sex with him too so that you can fully understand my appreciation of his dick as well.
This is going to be the summer remembered forever as the giant 3 month long mushroom trip.
look at his last status update. 3:41 a.m. "i love u and miss u already egg burrito. happy trails friend." OF COURSE HE SMOKES POT.
I was afraid that she would smell her boyfriend's penis on my breath while we were talking.
You know it's time to cut back when your unemployed drug dealer roommate tells you that you party too hard.
And, through a series of unfortunate events, I am at my grandmothers birthday party in a short dress and no underwear
You are like the only girl I know who tells their booty call to go find another girl just cause you want more sleep.
I can not be a lesbian living on Beaverland.
Ok. You have started something that can only end with a picture of the inside of my butthole. It may happen today or next year, but it's on my agenda.
Well, while we went through airport security, I found out Mom got her clit pierced, so there's that.
Did you really have to freak out and get up half way through to put the cat in the closet?
...
I don't know what the hell I'm going to do with myself when this is all over. I'll probably just go back to smoking pot and trying to learn italian.
I have cats now. Five of them.
Have you considered starting a global domination firm?
Randomize
