Hi
Babe...You're really smothering me right now
so i asked him why he doesn't wanna see me anymore and he said he was questioning his sexuality. cool.
If you're missing hair this morning, i'm sorry in advance
Don't worry, nothing happened....but we should have a fire extinguisher here.
Just got booked to do a bachelorette party for a polygamist wedding. And notice I only text you to rub things in your face and show you my life shits on yours. Daily.
We pulled over so he could pee and the next thing I know he's running down the hill by himself with his pants down
she crawled under her car and passed out. Unfortunately her feet were sticking out and someone called 911 because they thought she had been run over.
I love you like a cupcake loves an overweight child, very similar to the mannerisms of a whole cake but personal, and minus the commitment issues, plus just the right amount of icing; not to mention the convenience of mobility, and only a smidgen of the guilt😘
I had a moment while I was smoking where I was looking at these palm trees and I knew how dr Seuss came up with his characters.
I told you all we needed steroids to survive the tour de franzia, like the bikers. But nobody listened...
It's no longer hooking up, we have definitely graduated to Sport Fucking....
We had a moment of silence for all of the orgasms he gave me with his beard before he shaved it off.
Well my parents know I get medical Cannabis they saw me on the news at the dispensary
Awesome. I did a rain go away dance. And it went away. Nbd just cotrollin the weather with my mind and sweet dance moves
yeah we're all naked, and I think we just shaved Chad.
Randomize
