I called you to phone bone last night, but you were out with your boring friends playing video games
My only options right now are Herpes, Gay, or Vanilla.
The Mets? Come back? That'd be like Nickelback writing a good song.
I wish you got a notification every time someone masturbated to a Facebook picture of you...
Of course it's dangerous. Why else would they hire us after we failed the drug test?
surgery went fine. i cant breath out of my right nostril though. lets not eat peas anymore when we are drunk.
I don't listen when you talk. I just try to find new creative ways to get you to send me naked pictures.
You can't just beat off while driving someone else's car. Thats a rule
Thats your rule and this car is nice
If I had a dollar for every straight boy that questioned their sexuality because of me, I would live a comfortable middle-class life.
What alcohol should i drink Saturday to completely hate life?
My uterus is doing all sorts of karate moves to break free of my body.
Dude she smelled like bar-b-que sauce. I can't think of anything better.
They were so sore! Either I have bed bugs or you were biting my nipples last night and don't lie to me.
sending my old camp counselor nudes. childhood memory win or new low?
Will you PLEASE get your mom to stop telling me I'd make a great husband? She knows I'm gay, right?!
I know, but she really likes you. Have you met my brother yet?
Randomize
