Well that's not true. She had two social skills. She kept them in her bra
I JUST WOKE UP ON A TRAIN
I SHUDNT B ON A TRAIN
I saw the video from Saturday. So, how much did I drink for me to think I was a duck and strip my clothes?
Get everyone out of their dorms and watch 3 girls do the walk of shame from my room.
Honestly, it's not that easy picking a Saturday night outfit that can translate to Palm Sunday mass. Priorities.
I tried to take a photo for proof but couldn't hold my penis, camera, and measuring tape all at the same time.
hey this is Madison. you gave me your number last night and asked me to remind you that you didn't fuck anyone. you okay?
I am almost positive I asked to milk her when I was saying my goodbyes.
You should fuck with them and beat off in the cup and then walk out an be like, "This was a sperm donation right?"
omg his dad is hot
... I'm currently away at the moment. Leave a msg since I cannot express how much I can't help you stop ruining peoples lives.
I'm at the level of despair that only Panda Express can fix
It was the highest I'd ever been. I felt like a blob. A blob eating a burrito.
After the day I've had, I can't decide if donuts or fireball would be the appropriate priority.
Is there a reason why your pubic hair is a plastic bag on my bathroom floor? And yes I know its yours... You wrote your name on the bag
I’m going to lick a fucking door knob when this shit is all over
Probably Waffle House
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