she cant drink. allergic to alcohol.
ewwww. she might as well have a dick.
Me= Watching Ferngully. My neighbor= Having really loud sex including multiple orgasms
Oh God
I know, but the worst part is I'm not really sure which I'd rather be doing. Feel free to re-evaluate our friendship
She was lying in bed moaning while eating a Snickers and masturbating.
Straightened my pubes. My dick looks like John Lennon fucked Gonzo.
I'm just gonna be the bigger person here and say I want you inside me
I consented to having my finger branded. How was your night?
there is a guy passed out on top of me and i don't know what to do. help if you're awake? was anyone anyone expecting someone? maybe he found the wrong room?
I just found out the guy that lied and blew me off got arrested, his mugshot is online. Life is good.
Took off my bra at the laundry mat to throw it in I am officially white trash
He posted a picture from Senor Frogs. I don't remember where that bikini came from and my sombrero is PERPENDICULAR. Safe to say it was one hell of a day
I basically gave Miranda rights to the guy I hooked up with, jus so we were all clear what was happening
He literally poured blue Gatorade on me after we had sex and said "good game" all over my white sheets
Btw I'm playing passed out so you can get laid but obviously you need to take the offense just ask him if he wants to go to bed and leave a cigg on the counter
Taco Bell is better for you than cocaine, I promise.
Let's just face it you're going to have an arrangement with your future wife your fuck me on Thursdays
Randomize
