i want to be waterboarded, just to see what all the fuss is about
I'm at an open mic night and the next act is called 'the best creed cover band ever.' The guy i recently hooked up with is on bass.
I don't think so, think I've only met him once, the night I lost my teeth
When the cops come you probably shouldn't be poking cars with a stick.
pretty sure I called you last night to sing Hebrew to you.
Party Liz is going to have to have her wings clipped until someone gets me some baby reins to wear
Eating a chocolate bar and crying over a cobweb. Life is beautiful and I love shrooms.
Girl, we were harassing people from the top of a building. I don't know how I got down, but I'm eating chocolate cake in my kitchen. Sall good yo.
I remember caressing his hands asking him if he moisturized, then i proceeded to put his hands on my face
I bought Plan B for the first time and an interview outfit today. You could say my life is improving.
They took the TVs out of the gym and the mini-Mart only had 2% milk. 2015 wants me to be fat
Does she know she is talking to people who slam shots of fireball and chase it with vodka?
You were holding onto her boobs like you were adrift at sea and they were the only flotation devices
So the girl I met at the bar last night came home with me. Played with my puppy. And left.
Not sure what you smoked, but you put raw bacon on the lazy Susan and spent 45 minutes looking at it and mumbling Meat Spin
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