Wasted at the beach. Toasting underage, overdeveloped girls. God bless 'em.
five shots of tequila, anal and 3 cigarettes. not my best idea on a saturday afternoon.
Is there a "Plan B" app for my iphone?
We're gonna have to suck it up and start making out for free drinks. No homo. I'm watching Tyra "I kissed a girl and I got free drinks."
Let's do it. All homo
he's got a countert top full of yard sale blenders so id say maragita wednesdays is a go.
I can feel the alcohol in my calves
I'm trying on my bridesmaid dress so that I can determine what will need to be done to achieve getting fucked while wearing it.
he peed on his own floor last night after we left the bar. pretty much sums up how i feel about the evening
She just spat tequila at me... Like a fountain... A broken fountain
My tweets this weekend consisted of me telling every bar I went to that they were my favorite valentine. I've never felt like more of an alcoholic
There is nothing wrong with watching parks and rec all day then getting blackout drunk by night
I am now "wine pairing" tums flavors with my strongbow, because apparently hard cider gives me heartburn.
I gave up great shower sex to be here so don't say I never did anything for our friendship.
"We drove to the deserted part of the parking lot, and that's where we blew each other. It was so romantic."
I feel you. I woke up butt naked on top of my sheets with a plate of cheese next to my bed...
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