he said "you're pretty" then i made out with him. thats all it took
I had to go to the bank to confirm purchases made on 10/31/09 because they were signed as Lady Gaga
She's like a coupon for free blow jobs. No purchase necessary.
i'm as serious about my hair as jesse from full house.
that is uncle jesse to you, show some respect.
he started drinking at 9am with grey goose and pancakes. He IS my hero.
Well we didn't hook up. Maybe from his girlfriend's point of view, but not mine.
We make out exclusively when we're drunk. That's like a relationship for me, right?
My ex just sent me a message asking if she could blow me, but only if we get caught by her new bf. If she promises to swallow I'm doing it.
I got shot at last night. Lesson about married chicks: learned.
And please let him know I don't normally go off on long rants about feminist theory. That was totally the vodka talking.
The cops just came to this party I'm at and ate all of our snacks
Dude just crushed our bbq lays and told us to quiet down
My little brother came home while I was sitting there icing my vagina with a bag of peas. Asshole looks at me, high fives Ryan, then leaves.
Just a little. Like do I say "hey I'm the girl that's fucking your son, nice to meet you"
Wasted. And I have 5 pounds of potatoes that I'm responsible for.
I'm going to be there later than expected. There was a yo-yo incident...
Randomize
