I was to big spoon the shit out of you right now
I'm so hungover and dru,k
I know it's getting bad when I wash the bong more often then the dishes
me neither. i remember bell pepper tequila but not why or yelling
Hahaha, I forgot about doing shots out of the bell pepper
Can you give me a hickey quick? Im going to a white trash themed party. Completely serious
You have to keep an eye on her tonight cause you know how she likes to pickpocket people when she's drunk.
you know what would be perfect? if you flew in on a horse/cat holding taco bell and then you swooped me up and took me to disney world and it was magical
I have 3 texts in my phone that say "Thanks King Tyler". I think I've successfully drank myself into a monarchy.
Only thing worse than going to work with a hangover is going to work with a hangover then realizing that u don't have to work that day
Dont really know what happened near the end, Pockets were filled with skittles though
Tell me about it. Running across highways take alot outta ya. When he found out, he was all "concerned" about it.
I'm taking a shit break of discontent as a personal protest
You must have my penis confused with someone else's...which is disappointing
I couldn't find any flowers so I brought her a cat.
It's all part of my master plan: have him buy me all I can eat pizza and all I can drink beer AND THEN tell him there was no spark and we're better off as friends.
I think him and kristen are pretty serious now.. I dont think he cheats on her, anymore.
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