first missing my period. then crying at the clinic... but why?
we had sex 3 months ago. you missed your period 2 weeks ago. but nice try.
bitch asked me if i cared if she kept her snuggie on while we had sex
when i'm not drinking i'm making facebook events about drinking
He pulled his dick out during the Bourne Ultimatum, ruined it for me.
So I've gone into the break room to heat up a styrofoam cup 8 times over the course of 4 hours.. that desperate to see him. Now I have a broken heart AND cancer.
My head is just one big fuzz right now.. Its like someone replaced my brain with a teddy bear
Let's have sex in an apple orchard
He's all enlightened and liberal. My next beefcake will be much more Neanderthal.
there are not enough nopes in the world for that situation.
He has no idea he’s my boyfriend.
Chick in the kitchen making breakfast.. Yours or mine?
I don't know if I'm dying or this is just a mild inconvenience
No I come to this class stoned every week. Except last week when I was drinking in class
You will be reminded everyday when you witness my majestic mustache.
Honestly, this social distancing bullshit is giving me a good excuse for drinking alone.
Randomize
