you got kicked out last night because right after you said "whats up?" to us, you downed your whole vodka ton and threw it across the bar.
I wont touch it. I promise i wont touch it. JUST GET UNDER THE DAMN TABLE PLEASE.
Hooked up with my first aid and cpr teacher last night. She dressed as a lifeguard and brought me back to life. Beat that.
Her dress is practically falling off. It must know I'm here.
Are we responsible for the snowmen doing it doggy-style in my front yard?
koolaid chicken. i marinated it for 2 hours and roasted it on a rock in a fire. it was bright blue and raw. but that shit was tasty
Don't do anything you wouldn't want to explain to paramedics
But that's half the fun of it
This vodka tastes like I'm not going to class tomorrow.
Why do I have a missed call from "The Anaconda" ?
I'm sorry. I just realized our 'big night out' ended up being you driving my high ass to get burritos and back.
Dude, those shrooms u gave me made me remember writing the bible. Fuckn awesome
Dude, I'm trippin balls. For real, I thought this bag on my floor was my dog for the longest time...
While having sex, a German accent isn't sexy.
"The More You Know"
Details are irrelevant. Come bail me out of jail.
You don't need yoga. You need a boyfriend! Trust me I've become all sorts of flexible this past year.
Randomize
