so he reminded me it was our 9 month anniversary and then said "we could've had a baby by now"
I really wanna talk..
if by talk you mean have nasty makeup sex involving marshmellow fluff.. I'm down
Honestly, where the fuck is osama bin laden?
maybe next time you shouldn't be drinking alone watching intervention at 3 am and no one would think you needed an intervention.
boobs and vodka. thats all i can remember, finals week needs to stop ending like this..
All of our toilets in my house are broken. Thank God I've practiced peeing in the sink enough.
New plan for Halloween: you dress as Waldo, I'll dress as Carmen San Diego. We can just hide in a closet drinking till someone finds us.
I think i just threw up blood. i can't chill right now;
Ten minute nap on a staircase honey badger don't care
I love you. Mom got to wasted at the wedding that she threw up on my shirt.
She cracked her neck before the blowjob and I knew shit just got real.
She was wearing some slutty variation of a toga and giving the entire bus a pep talk on why we should black out tonight...I'M IN LOVE AND I DON'T CARE WHO KNOWS IT!
COME HERE AND I WILL SUCK YOUR COCK UNDER THE LIGHT OF THIS BEAUTIFUL ELECTRICITY
I've officially slept with/dated two guys that have gotten tased. What the fuck is wrong with me
Let's just say that I took off my pants and I had superman boxers on. Then she took off her pants and she had batman panties on. I think she's the one!
Just stalked the girl I hooked up with last night's boyfriend. He seems nice, I approve.
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