the chick doesn't look like she's put anything in her mouth for weeks other than his dick.
I told her i was enlisting in the air force tomorrow.....it was like the activation code to her vagina
I feel like royalty, that girl from last night had a vajazzled vag. Bucket list complete.
Is it sad that I just used my electrical knowledge to not only fix but improve my vibrator?
I just found scrambled eggs in my shower. Thanks for that, asshole.
You were jumping on the trampoline and screaming that you couldn't feel the fire.
Bloody Mary Monday just took a turn for the worst... Just had a heart to heart talk with the cat about it's obsession with chewing on cardboard.... Time for a nap.
Its not college unless your study breaks were to go throw up from blacking out the night before
She's on her way over to shave my year round sweater vest into a festive argyle sweater vest. Keeper?
I'm just chillin on the bathroom floor
Haha oh no
The bathroom floor is like my second bedroom on the weekends
Wow has his pick up routine ever gotten bad. He is trying to use cheese as a way to flirt with the waitress
Oh man, he played the Harvarti cheese card and it didn't work. Now he is flailing
If you send me another picture of a donut on your penis while I'm at work, I may have to slap you With the donut.
Nice. I got home at like 3am.stopped at Walmart for a vacuum and weirdly a trash can. Not sure why high me last night needed a new trashcan.
Okay everything with a penis is officially dead in my eyes
he's single and there are thong briefs.
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