Dude. Creed is coming in september.
We're no longer friends.
dude all my bootycalls are going to Eclipse tonight... Do I really want it that bad?
You face planted into a car door. And somehow didn't drop your burrito.
U have to come, I miss the sound of you throwing up.
DONT EVER DUNK OREOS INTO WINE . NEVER
No worries. On my way home to get ski poles and wipe the sick off my face. Then it's time to get drunk in the park
I'm like 87% sure some random guy starting biting my ear after grinding me for like 30 seconds... I feel suprisingly unconcerned
Clearly it doesn't get better with age. Just more sexual
What's the procedure for answering a booty call from someone under house arrest?
She was about to leave with you until you started singing "You Hoes Ain't Loyal" in her face
He fell asleep cradling my ass and every time I moved he adjusted his hand accordingly. I've found the one.
You woke up in between the boxspring and the matress in a random dorm room.
It was like Lady and the Tramp, but just tramp and the tramp. And instead of spaghetti and meatballs, we had whiskey and cups
Cover for me. Stopped at Chris’ for a quickie. Broke a high heel and there’s jizz all over my black dress. Fuck pornstars for making workday sex look easy
Very interesting. Let's just say I got home last night and threw up, found a joint in my bra, and woke up naked in my bed
Randomize
