is it bad that i shorted Freddie Mac immediatly after I heard about the CFO?
i may have used way too many innuedos last night. i scared him off. but really... how could i pass up "stimulus package" and "flacid economy." don't answer that.
Hopefully the semester will be over before she has a breakout. Then I can just avoid the situation entirely
this study room smells like vodka
the study room thinks the same about you
On a scale of 1 to last weekend, how hungover are you?
He's like a perfect storm of amazing hair and horrible judgment.
IF HE CAN'T EVEN MAKE EYE CONTACT IN CLASS, I DOUBT THERE WILL BE OTHER FORMS OF CONTACT ON OUR FIRST NOT-A-DATE DATE
What's the right thing to say when he sends me a picture of his penis ?
I actually bought food at McDonald's as an apology for what I was about to do to their bathroom.
No, the moral of my Oxford interview was "Never snort caffeine pills".
No I have an idea, I saw you running through the neighborhood at 3am while I searched for my flip flops in a ditch
I think about him when I masturbate so I guess you could call it love
YOU RAISED A SWORD OVER YOUR HEAD AND SCREAMED AT HIM WHAT THE FUCK ELSE DID YOU THINK WOULD HAPPEN?!
He took a shit in my shoe. A part of me is livid and a part of me is impressed because that’s some real evil genius.
Is it weird that I shop for lingerie by thinking if it will look good on both me and your floor?
No. Not at all.
Randomize
