no, he came in my armpit
Its Shannon Doherty lazy not Forest Whittaker lazy
You ruined his night from a different state? Impressive.
The only thing better than Call of Duty is getting jerked off while playing Call of Duty.
Well he's not exactly single.. It's like an open relationship his wife doesn't know about
The carpet cleaning people refuse to steam clean human feces. I'll call back later and blame it on the dog not you
I don't think it counts as a walk of shame when it's someone you've wanted for 4 years. That's mission accomplished.
You missed me roundhouse kicking a lit glow stick out of a guy's mouth last night. You would have been proud.
By getting lucky do you mean I get one of your incredible BJs or you not killing me by the end of dinner?
my memory may be fuzzy, but the 20+ naked pictures I sent him were surprising clear
I totally intended to come to the hotel, but I woke up in a parking lot
The struggle is real.
Bianca brought a stripper home he's making me breakfast
I stopped his blowjob to raise 3 fingers & whistle the hunger games tune to the people walking past the window
You've lost booty call privileges between the hours of 10pm and 8am.
2016 was supposed to be my year of being a ho, but I guess 2017 might be too.
Randomize
