you were crying and the really sympathetic homeless man offered you a sip of his whiskey. who was i to stop you?
I just put a condom on my dildo so i wouldng get another uti....most depresIng moment of.my LIFE
you were convinced campus grass and foliage would give you your daily serving of vegetables to balance out the amount of alcohol you drank.
Washing the last semen-stained shirt you have really solidifies a breakup. It just got real.
dude last night I threw my weed into my back yard. there is now a foot of snow. after an hour I found my weed. if I put that effort into school, i'd have a 4.0.
How did your new apartment party go last night?
I'm really happy i have a bigger bathroom to puke in.
well i just got discharged from the hospital after getting pegged in the head by a t-shirt gun so thats how my night was.
There appears to be a lake on my nightstand. As usual, I should not be considered a suspect. Together, we will find out who did this.
I legit just woke up on my couch, snuggled up next to some guy who's wearing my roommate's pink bathroble. What the fuck do they put in those shots?
How much morphine is too much? Keep in mind that I'm going to my graduation dinner with my parents.
Holy fucking shit the worst thing for a hangover ever--A FUCKING BOLLYWOOD MOVIE BLARING IN CLASS
Bro, you're like, my right testicle. Can't go anywhere without you.
Its mothers day, andI woke up with 12 bar stamps on my face, holding orange juice and a box of tampons. This can not be happening
we need to make pact to not cut each other's hair on coke and whiskey nights.
While I agree, I dont think thats realistically possible
i'm drinking soco out of a mickey mouse cup right now. i love it when college and my childhood meet in the middle.
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