if you call bong hits and onion rings a party, then yeah
I'll trade you a raw potato for some vodka
I woke up naked, with 10 visible bite marks and a black eye. I'm just going to assume that it was a good night.
I was so high I thought there were pigeons in my room. Long story short there are now donut crumbs all around my bedroom.
I wish i could be on x for the rest of my life.
When you gave the girl your number the fat girl was like "take mine....here please take mine"
Drunk in my research methods class at 9:30 in the morning. We should do a quantitative analysis of my mimosa consumption.
I am both scared and jealous.
Come on Nikki god gave you a vagina for a reason, so you could tell guys what kind of shots to buy you
I went down on her for 35 minutes and didn't even get a handy. I've never felt more desire to be gay in my life.
Listen. You seriously only live once... there aren't that many cinco de mayos left until someone knocks u up and u have to have a shotgun wedding. Man up.
I jumped out of a moving car going sixty into my driveway because I had to shit so bad. It is not a good day today.
I don't want to be Eskimo brothers with your dad
Sorry I called bc I needed help peeing outside
But I did it
Do you wanna fuck while my apple pie is in the oven?
I'm so gassy and it's your fault.
Randomize
