Ok Hollywood, I get it. Megan Fox is hot. Now she is in a movie where she is so hot that dudes just fucking die. Great.
you know he's having a sex change. I can't believe you called him "titty man" to his face....
That should be a holiday. like easter. but bulges instead of baskets
I think we were cool up until the point where he saw that planned parenthood was on my speed dial.
She told me to stuff her like a turkey. She actually yelled happy thanksgiving.
Your brother came in a girls mouth for the first time last night... Ah the tales told whilst buying minors beer.
oh no, don't get me wrong.. she IS really pretty. If you are in to horses or Sarah Jessica Parker.
Hey start looking around for a low rider Subaru. Well get a loan. It will be capital for our first music video.
I'm not allowed to have sex with him again. My vagina joined in on the protest. There was a petition. All my body parts signed it.
this hospital has no fireball
We duck taped Dave to a rolling chair and shoved him in the bed of the truck then took off for a bit.. We didn't explain it that way when the nurse asked what happened though.
I think I accidentally invented a religion.
Well I've consulted some psychics but they keep saying all they hear in my head is screaming and all they see in my future is pool noodles and cheese dip?
Would you think less of me if I were eating pizza on the toilet right now?
Can't we just go back to fucking and having your boyfriend think you're completely straight?
Randomize
