Hey theres a creepy ass guy stalking our house.i would look alive geting in 2nite.
Small dicks are the new regular sized dicks.
im surrounded by empty glasses of chocolate milk WTF
i can't believe i haven't brushed my teeth. and i just kissed my grandma. I'm going to hell.
john hughes is dead. crushing any and all dreams of me ever being in an 80's john hughes film. bummer.
These 5 days benders will be the death of me. Just living and breathing is a struggle right now.
I just took went to the bathroom and it smelt like blue curococo... I didn't flush yet so head on up if you wanna know what a good night smells like.
Is it bad that we're talking like nothing happened?
Ah. Blossoming love after wild blackout drunk sex.
he got promoted. that means i have now given my new boss chlaymida. i need a new job.
She gave me a BJ with my hoodie on. it was like i was blowing myself.
thanks for celebrating my birthday so severely 2 years ago. i just found your hospital discharge papers in my closet.
anything for my little brother.
There is ecstasy everywhere. Get over here right no5w. The 5 is silent.
MOMMMMMMMMMMAYYY! YOU BIRFED ME TODAYY. IM CELEBRTIN ON YUR BEHAF! THANK YOU!!!!!
I always hoped you would never inherit this side of my personality. Hon, trust me, you're a mess. Go to bed...alone. xoxoxo
I walked in her room to find her rubbing lotion on her face high as fuck.
I just found peanut butter between my boobs. This was for you.
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