i'm not the one sitting naked in my room playing with my boobs and a cat.
He woke up, got my bottle of water and poured it on me and then went back to sleep. Not really how I want to wake up at 2 a.m.
All you have to drink is moonshine and ranch. This is bullshit.
I don't want to talk. I just want to motorboat those tits
Our whole friendship has just been time foreshadowing my dick in your mouth.
wore my lacy blue thong that says "hello there" across the front today for my gynecologist appointment. I live to make people uncomfortable
i'm half naked talking to a cat. you don't have to justify your life to me.
My time here is complete. I think I have now thrown up in every major degree programs building
I could run a drunk marathon in heels
They are the perfect team. One always has weed, the other always has cigarettes. They're like the Batman and Robin of drugs
I didnt realize until i got your email that what i've been missing in my life is someone to send me dog gifs
I just sneezed and margarita mix and ash came out of my nose. I love jersey
After sending me a dick pic, he asked, "yay or nay?"
I'm not even the least bit surprised that I whored myself out for tiramisu
His favorite positions involve choking me out. I'm marrying him.
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