I think your mom looks like a breed of donkey and elephant, but her boobs are perfect
Oh and ps....i was sleeping soundly until i woke up by the sound of amy on the phone with her mom sobbing hysterically because she can't stop having the shits.
Just watched my manager erase "we've been 2 days wo an accident" and change it to "0" these ppl are too high.
You drank almost the entire bottle of everclear and wanted to walk around. I guess your best friends sister is a cop and you wanted her to arrest you like the lil wayne song.... so sorry dude.
At this point I just want to meet a man with a job.
Definitely just put my car on cruise control so I could stick my head out of the sunroof while driving to taco bell.
my pupils became my eyes and i slept with a cloth in my mouth again
This tiny Canadian guy just tipped me $20, a piece of gum, and a joint. I wasn't working. He literally tipped me for talking to him.
Why do I feel like I need to drink to feel better about the things I do when I'm drunk
I don't think I'm gonna survive today. I don't remember how to walk. I must crawl 6 blocks to my bed.
Hypothetically speaking - is it bad if you get cut off at an airport bar at 11:30am?
I ain't lettin her quit anyway. We don't fuck enough for her to meet the housewife requirements
You took one look at him and said "let's hope I don't remember this tomorrow" then you took another shot and chased it with a beer.. I guess it was a success.
there's no judgement here...i was recently just fingered in my dorm hallway while having a conversation with 5 people.
Hey I didn't mean to come across like I was judging you about your liberal sexual choices. I would like details of your threesome if you need to talk about it!
Randomize
