Well hey if hot cowboys are involved then all bets are off.
He is in the front yard trying to catch birds out of the air with a fishing net.
someone needs to get her out of the garbage can shes never gonna forgive us for this
No He hasn't done that since the time he came in his own eye
I can honestly say I've never had orange soda poured on my vagina before, that's a story for the grand kids
I found an HIV test/information brochure on the kitchen table and what i can only assume to be an "I'm sorry you might have AIDS" gift bag, complete with a candle and popcorn, and I haven't seen you in 36 hours. You good?
don't worry i won't let him get attached. I put on my Hulk onesie after sex and yelled I SMASHED YOU. never seen a guy looked so confused.
He drunkenly stumbled over to me and told me my "crotch looks spectacular tonight"..... i think this could work
Well the good news is ill probably have my new boobs by the time he sees me naked
I spent last night dying strippers pubes green and landscaping shamrocks. That is why hands look like I squashed a leprechaun.
Don't mention it
Just endorse me for cunnilingus on LinkedIn
You took the receipt and ate it. You then took it out and gave it to the waitress with slobber and holes all over it.
I don't know if I'm more disturbed by the fact that you hooked up with a dude with one arm, or that "hook up with a dude with one arm" was on your bucket list.
The sex was so good we high-fived after.
Just find a separated / divorcing man. They’re too upset to fall in love, too helpless to be alone and too horny to think straight. Smile at him the right way and he’ll be thrilled to be with a sexy younger woman!
Randomize
