The bar is filled with bros right now. Sucks I had to pay $5 to find that out.
Does my surprise involve the use of a safe word?
Probably.
I'm in.
the last thing i remember is ordering pitchers of white russians....
All I remember is having a LONG talk with a 23 year old mother with a 5 year old kid at a bar who told me "it's not that bad"
Just did a keg stand the dropped my phone in the toilet. Sorry for partying.
You did a keg stand on the toilet?!
It's home.......I'm going to the store in disguise to get skittles and cake frosting. Then I'll eat the frosting in a dark corner while I cry and wonder what I did to deserve this.
Also, am I the only one who noticed he didn't fuck you until after you were technically a cripple? Or am I reading into this too much? Congrats on that btw
Quick question: is it impolite to pause sex to put on my knee brace?
It's like when your main girl and your side girl start having their period in the same week
You are the most depressed sports fan I know
I walked a mile in this weather wearing nothing but a toga. Zero fucks. Your move Mother Nature.
Believe me honey Imma fuck the discount out of at least one plastic surgeon in my life
I want to have sex in my car again before I put the car seat back in
I don't really want to explain what i mean by this so just answer yes or no. are 5 cows enough?
you were just in my dream and you looked at me and said "Christmas is cold." I think you're wasted even in my dreams.
Nows a good time to tell him. Just be like "yeah, I used to bang her too and it didn't work out for us either". He'll understand.
Randomize
