You remember correctly you did get a golf cart ride out but it wasnt because you were special. You were so smashed you were screaming tiger at random golfers in the middle of there backswing.
No, don't worry. We're not going to get THAT arrested.
The irony of calling it Pride is that you do things that no one should be proud of.
i just ate an entire onion plain. all alone. i have never felt more single in my life
Last night he tried to put me in their garbage can and then sprayed me with a fire extinguisher in their kitchen...that house is always interesting
Well we didn't hook up. Maybe from his girlfriend's point of view, but not mine.
reaaaally cool. my cat ate my birth control.
I don't want anything to do with the Darth Vader stripper babe. I'm just trying to make dreams come true.
What drink are we having for lunch?
I just bought the spice girls album. We will be doing music videos in the near future. You are our baby spice-- don't fight it
I did my patriotic duty. I woke up next to a veteran this morning.
He asked if I was alright. I said "Yeah, I'm just an incapacitated ball of orgasmic bliss right now."
I left him naked in his bed. I did cover his junk with a blanket in case his roommate walked in later though. so I don't feel as bad about it.
i just sneezed the second i jizzed and it got in my eye. words can't describe how much i hate life right now.
Also I like oatmeal more than sex.
Randomize
