I know its small, but please -- stop calling it my "weenis".
so, on facebook you can become a fan of butt sex, and also premarital sex, but not premarital butt sex, which is what I was aiming for.
whoever threw up in my shampooo bottle is totally getting defriended on facebook.
i tried to stop you. you just kept saying your split ends needed punishment.
What do you think it is?
It's a boy. I know it. She always manages to have a cock inside her somehow.
you covered his dog in toothpaste. safe to say hes not gonna call you.
I started making breakfast to subdue the hangover and last of the shrooms and only got as far as eating a half frozen pierogi out of a dixie cup.
Speaking of testosterone. I saw a girl with a moustache thicker than one I can grow last night...
Ugh why does it have to be margarita Monday. Why can't it be pants off dance off beer pong but with jager Monday.
Seriously! We need to take her a thank you note or something. She puts up with the drugs and the extremely loud sex. She deserves a thank you card.
i dont know how he's 22 and thinks emoticons will get him laid. lady boner just died.
FYI, grandma is already drunk and using a bed sheet as a table cloth.
Amazon.com "suggested" I buy both nipple clamps and opera gloves.
Plus who wants to live somewhere tom jerked off? No one.
I'm slacking. We've been hooking up for months and I have yet to bang him while he's wearing the clown mask.
Why would you trust me with ANYTHING!!!???
Randomize
