so the chest pain/shortness of breath/overdose guy we just took to tm hospital is now running down market street from the police in a gown holding his iv.
why did u let me go home with him last night?
u were determined it was a good idea
I wish I was that guy from the miller light commercials so I could walk into parties and take peoples beer without getting yelled at
Weddings at vineyards should never be allowed to happen. I'm pretty sure I drank every bottle they produced in 2008.
hey im home...im not sure how this mcdonalds got here but whatever im gonna eat it anyway.
I just had sex in a cardigan. Made me feel old. Smarter somehow, but old.
oh my god i'm in a crawl space
There's an official council for his ex boyfriends. They told me they 'look forward to the day I join them'.
Pretty sure I can show you the text you sent me stating some interest in my penis entering your mouth if said circumstances were met.
There was a half eaten cheeseburger on my coffee table. Guess I made it to McDonald's.
I blame it on the rum. It keeps jumpng doqn my throst.
Here is a brilliant idea passed on from men who have that same regret. WEAR A FUCKING CONDOM ALWAYS.
I got a snap of someone jumping off a light pole. Was that you? Please confirm or deny. #onWisconsin
In my defense I didn't know there was concrete on the other side of that fence when I tossed him over it.
You're both fucking idiots and this is why I should never let you two drink alone.
Being forward is somethimes a problems. Like in sexual deity Kong.
I think you’re losing coherence.
I am
Randomize
