my mom asked me how i could steal on a clear conscious and i told her it was because when i was younger she let me watch alladin and he did it.
dude i dont realllllly have to fuck her do i? its just a mess down there and i think im gonna cry
You're not pinnochio. Lying isn't going to make it bigger.
Those balls look pretty dangerous.
I just masturbated into a dress sock. I feel fancy
I am so stoned and my professor is handing out candy. I love Halloween.
I think I would be able to remember how to smoke but I can't seem to remember how to breathe.
There are apples in the microwave and a cup of twigs in the fridge. I think she's hiding in the pantry, I can hear her giggling. Leaving her to it.
Your texting shows a blood alcohol level of .12
The Angel on my shoulder is now resorting to merely reminding me that, "You will regret this later." I'm not sure if he's learning how I think or just giving up. Either way, should make life a bit more interesting.
Is it acceptable to cry on a Friday or am I supposed to drink to forget it?
Final Summary: could he eat a lit sparkler? Probably. Could he do it while peeing off the roof? I'll tell you when you get to the ER.
I have already put on my inside pants.
U sent me lyrics to wind beneath my wings
My liver misses your liver
my mom is drunk and is trying to get me to take a picture of her ass. what is life?
Randomize
