Ok so my english teacher told me i could have 5 absences bc of my "problem". I have no idea what she is talking about
Just witnessed a walk of shame by a guy in a half gorilla suit. It's going to be a good day.
Her problem is just that he inner beauty is just as ugly as her physical beauty
we did anal to Party In The USA and he busted to Firefies .. felt like we were fucking in a middle school dance
Is there a zoo near here? I need to see some penguins like right now..
I am not bailing you of of jail
We lost the cork forthe wine, so we used a tampon as a replacement. I never loves tampons so much
I have to be home in time to watch my friend on that Lifetime show about having babies. And by friend, I mean the girl I had a lesbian experience with at a party 3 years ago.
The last thing I remember is trying to split my bridesmaid dress down the back like the incredible hulk.
and you succeeded.
ill be fine wheb you get back. I'm gunna do real world things like washing the dishes. having to perform serious tasks brings you down.
I JUST MADE OUT WITH A BRITISH SOCCER PLAYER. LONG LIVE THE QUEEN. GOD BLESS THAT COUNTRY.
That's always how I imagine things at your apartment...
Good, I'm glad you don't have some weird, skewed, clothed version of reality over here.
you look like you're about to get down on your knees and give america the business.
Well, I wish you luck on finding out who your boyfriend is
He literally knows my vagina better then I do.
And then she grabbed my dick and started singing 'ring ring ring ring banana phone'
Randomize
