I had to move some guys boxers out of the dryer. This is the closest I'll be getting to dick this month.
i walked toward the cop car thinking it was the liquor store lights nd by that time it was too late to escape the trap
where's my purse there's an important taco in it
Of course I was flustered, I had a lot of penis in my face.
Not quite sure what happened last night. I'll drive your dresser over to you later.....
definitely fulfilled the lesbian status quo and fucked her in the back seat of my prius
I do believe at one point I was dispensing medical advice while wearing your sombrero and a hulk hand
I lost a whole day of my life. Apparemtly I was using my deodrant as a phone. And is my phone there?
when i got home she was standing in my front yard not wearing a shirt and halfway crying/ halfway laughing
Haha no we did it on his bed. Then rolled off into the bean bag. It was a strangely athletic performance on my behalf.
I will buy you batman underwear babe. I'll make sure you wear them every time we have to adult.
I guess I asked for the two old strippers numbers at the end of the bar and it turned out to be the bartenders mom and aunt...
he high fived his dick after we had sex
you started putting peanut butter on your pubes.
Well, I was arguably the most sober adult in the house by 1 in the afternoon, so I'd say Superbowl Shitshow was a success.
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