Just incase you were wondering, the count of ladies who have perioded on chairs at our fine restaurant is now at 3.
Dear man in the lobby please go play whith yourself elsewhere
my brother is a facebook fan of two things: God, and Rhianna. if he's not a prime example of the rare "baptist closeted gay," i don't know who is.
every time i recognize a doctor or patient at the hospital on this rotation, i just pray it's not from my blackout saturday makeout slut moments...professionalism shouldn't count on weekends
Imagine the time you most wanted to kill yourself. Now add a room full of jail bait and no booze. Multiply that by a million.
No I'm done finals, but I'm not coming home until these hickeys are gone.
How would one go about tricking someone into chugging an entire bottle of tequila?
oh my god, just saw a man throw up in a trashcan and blood came out of his nose. HES GETTING ON MY BUS. HES SITTING ACROSS FROM ME. FUCK.
Well, my nose won't stop bleeding from really bad cocaine and my purse is full of plastic gold coins. Also, someone saved in my phone as "tyrannosaurus sex" won't quit texting me. Savannah won. Let's put it that way.
I feel like we should actually go to church one of these days to thank god for saving us from herpes and babies.
Kings cup with teenagers tonight
Done deal
Today was brought to you by the letter B for beer and bourbon and the number fuck you I'm meant to be studying not hungover
I snuck in through the doggy door to get his vodka. Do you think my ex will know?
Same encounter she body slammed me to the floor and than humped me
That 2-CB was ass.
You mean the asprin cut with pez?
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