I'll pay for our taxi if you let me makeout with the drummer and we don't leave RIGHT when the bassist does.
do you think they ever dumped Gatorade over Michael Vick's head after his dog won?
It was weird to see you drinking wine out a glass instead of a red cup today
Woke up in 100% not my clothes this morning. Third time this month. Fuck. Tequila.
You are colorful like whore, yet adorable, like sad puppy. You need more drink.
FOUR LOKO IS YES. SUNDAY MORNING DRUNK IS YES.
we found you under the sink... we opened up the doors and you told us to go away because you were playing indian in the cupboard
I wish we could skip the pretense of being normal and just start drinking wine with breakfast
Nothing like an old fashioned, wine fueled, anxiety-cry in the shower to start off finals week.
It's 6 a.m. ... what the hell.
I may have made out with a tranny last night, which, if I don't get fired for everything else that happened, really makes last night epic.
On the verge of sleeping with a man who can take me to an early bird dinner and a movie with his AARP discount. YOLO
Talk about an dramatic entrance, girl rolled up on a stolen bike and was wearing heels and a dress, through it on the ground and said "you guys want a bike?" Of course i jumped on that shit, any sane person would!
Recliner chair sex has moments of worry....just don't.
Now I am free. And I want to go meet men. My phone deleted all my contacts, and I consider this to be a new beginning. With a new man in my phone book.
Accidentally mixed my gin with cold brew coffee instead of cranberry juice. It’s bad. But I’ll finish it. Never leave a fallen soldier.
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