the night i cant remember will be the night i always remember thanks to my "i
it seems as if every mistake i've ever made in life i've had an errection in one hand and a bud light in the other
this guy jus got head in a gas station bathroom from this fat chick with one leg
gross dude. was the guy blacked out drunk or something?
yeah and it only cost me 6 dollars
I'll just wear something slutty to the liquor store and hope for the best
that's your solution for everything
She's "scared" of blowjobs, so she just played with it for a while.
He considered it romantic when he told me mid-blow job that no matter what happens, he will "never forget how good of a dick I suck". Verbatim.
she puked as i came inside her. that has to mean something.
Just for future questioning, I didnt break up with you over text
he suggested we do it doggy style cuz it was his dead dogs birthday...i had to do it
The Universe is CLEARLY playing a bad joke on your sex life
Deciding whether to take my sex toys home for Christmas will be the biggest decision I make this holiday season
alll i remember is comming back downstairs, his pants were off and he was aplauding me
im single, its not even nine am on Valentine's day and I've already gotten laid. suck it relationships
If I could go one week without being called a maneater or a spanish trolip that would be great.
At one point of the night i was standing at the bar and 3 of them had their hands down my pants, they were like thumb wrestling for it.
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