: south campus drug res life name erik. Love, tran
and in the morning, while we were eating breakfast, she was all " i think someone sneezed into my shirt..." she'll never know.
I will also inform you that stairs change when you change a house. Those hurt.
I waxed the left side of it and was in too much pain to do the right side so my crotch looks like cruella devil
it's like if youve been living with the grinch for 15 yrs and then santa shows up with a big gift begging to fuck the christmas spirit back into you. no one can say no to santa.
She's a freaking stalker dude, it's like having some kind of cartoon animal just following around everywhere
I've been buying my puppy dildos for chew toys. I can't wait till a girl comes over and my dog is gnawing on a giant black cock
my pupils became my eyes and i slept with a cloth in my mouth again
All hell broke loose. When the police showed up, this kid somehow haggled with a cop to let him pee in public. I'm convinced he could talk the panties off of a nun
Best walk of shame ever. Wearing a bright purple onesie, covered in smudged childrens make up, carrying my shoes and 1/4 sac of goon. I swear every house I walked past had an elderly couple watering their garden just to watch me
I want to get a list going called "D list celebs I've kissed"
Em I need to know if his cum tastes like vodka. Report back.
Drunk me also decided it would be funny to change all the passwords on my computer last night. Now I can't log into anything.
I just found peanut butter between my boobs. This was for you.
How do I stop your cat from bathing me? I'm afraid she'll get drunk off my sweat
Randomize
