Whod you bang
Woke up this morning at my parent's house. No idea how I got here... what happened last night? Was it bad?
We using my standards or yours?
Breakfast is bomb, yo. McDonald's before ten thirty is like Katie Holmes before Tom Cruise.
you made me "pop lock and drop it" as a sobriety test last night..
Using that mug my little cousin painted for me as an ashtray for my weed...at least next time he asks me if I'm using it I can say yes
He said I did a backflip off the thing on the doorframe and busted my ass. I'd give anything to remember
And we won't even have to pay the tab if we die AT the bar. So..win win.
you crashed our wine night double date and sat on the floor eating cheese talking about how big his dick is.
If I come back tomorrow to find a certain football player tied up and locked in your closet, shit's gonna get real.
I'll set him free tomorrow morning ;)
Did you blackout Saturday before or after we had sex in a random snow bank?
She has the perfect pussy. Looks like a paper cut with a puff of cotton candy on top.
Apparently I was proudly showing him the cup I barfed pizza rolls into
I have never appreciated strippers so much. Ma'am, you are an artist
So the pizza place just called me after an hour saying they don't have dough
the guy working the counter at the liquor store noticed i got my haircut and said it was pretty.....
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