i nerd-gasmd. plain and simple.
he spit gasoline on a tiki torch to impress a girl. he caught on fire but did get laid. success.
why is it that no matter what your novelty license plate says it always screams "im a huge tool"?
Yep. About to get on pornhub to spill some Christmas cheer
Watching Fresh Prince at 9am with a beer in hand and he just said to Uncle Phil "Sometimes I worry that I'll never get my life together." I feel like that was a sign from above or something
Tried to bribe the bartender with wedding cake. Felt bad for not giving her a tip.
hes either a crazy bad problem or a crazy good orgasm. I just can't decide which one.
You leave me no choice. Your vagina is grounded. It can just sit there and think about what it's done.
Idk we were snorting lines and making out in the stall while these people were cheering us on, on the other side. And that's when I realized he wasn't the only guy in the girls bathroom.
Some girl just showed me her stretch marks
You need to get out of tn
I AM HANGING OUT WITH ADORABLE DOGS SURROUNDED BY NATURE. GOD BLESS AMERICA AND ALSO BYE CIVILIZATION AND PANTS.
Are you at a park?
Who are you, and why are you in my phone as Elf on the Shelf
just had sex in my dorm hall public bathroom while wearing my favorite cat sweater. tonight was a win
At first I was nervous, then drunk me thought: What other chance will you realistically have to fuck a British guy?
Be there in a sec. We have to stop at Target to buy her underwear first.
Randomize
