when she started arguing that Girl Talk was in fact a DJ, i knew i could never sleep with her
I realized today that I should stop thinking so much with my vagina instead of my brain.
Please tell me this doesn't mean another "surprise road trip" where I spend all my money on gas and the SURPRISE destination is the abortion clinic.
But what if I pay for the gas?
He SHOWED UP to the party wearing one shoe and a dinosaur hat. He kept lifting up his shirt and asking people to bite his nipple.
Wtf man. I knew she was bad news. No sane person cares if you eat their raviolli.
I just tried to roll over and fell off the bed. I think that is the beds way of kicking me out
We hooked up in his car and afterwards he cried. I think I need to find a new hookup...
I'm gay. Congratulations to whoever had January 2014 in their pool.
In my defense, who let the drunk girl run around with a sack of broken glass unsupervise?
If you get that boat I will recruit some boat hoes for you and tape a video and sync it to I'm On A Boat. This is happening.
I JUST WANTED TO GET SOME MOTHER FUCKING TACOS I AM SINGLE AS FUCK TACOS BRING PREOPLE TOGETHER OKAY
I'm pretty sure that cute cop drove me home. Especially since I found his card in my purse.
its 11:20. i'm drunk in class flying paper airplanes for my final. what the fuck is my college experience right now?
What can I say, I just want your vagina in my mouth.
I am in the parking lot of CVS in Auburn. I think a truck full of Plan B and regret just arrived.
He expects a blow job at the movies but won’t pay for popcorn? Does he know it’s not 2017 anymore
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