Dude I can't believe you let me go home with the wildabeast lastnight.
You always hook up with hot girls we had to know you were mortal
I think i accidentally made vodka pancakes
i just bought plan b at the bus station. happy holidays and welcome to a new level of white trashiness.
I can't believe we had "50th anniversary of man in space" sex.
You have permanently scared my back with your nails. I would like to congratulate you on a job well done.
I'm going to smoke the pathetic stems and miscellaneous particles that weren't good enough for all my other bowls because its all I have left. This is my bag's Rudy moment.
It was a book called Gay Safari.
I'm so happy for you now that you have found your perfect porn novel.
Do you always skip to "Baby Got Back" when fat girls show up at the bar?
How does one un superglue their foot to the floor
no we just smoked too much weed and listened to the tarzan soundtrack. phil collins is amazing
im bringing home some absinth and some holy water. one way or another things are going to get spiritual.
What conversation warrents "penis" in rainbow comic sans
It wasn't intentional or anything but I've now had sex with all of your siblings. How's college going?
just because he was passed out beside the toilet, didn't give you tge right to pee on him
my aim is off when im drunk
The high school classes are online, not my sex life. He still comes over for “teacher / parent conferences.” A couple more “conferences” and I’ll be able to rewrite the Sex Ed curriculum
Randomize
