the fundamentals of my vasectemy are strong
the ***** family is living proof that there are no more lifeguards in the humen gene pool
he looks like a really good dad on facebook
Well I squeegeed the puke off your arm at the gas station
How unacceptable would it be to bar hop with a funnel in the square? It's Halloweekend and I plan on going hard. I can claim it goes w/ my costume. But I don't think the MIMITW uses funnels.
Tomorrow's thirsty thursday is now sponsored by the three time champion, chemisty failure. celebration starts asap.
I feel bad for the cleaning lady. All you can smell is latex and Jaegermeister
Cooked breakfast with his mom this morning...I'm like the housewife of one night stands
you should probably know that there's a naked dude in your window
i wouldn't normally say anything but you seem to not be there
New rule. Every time you and I have a disagreement that lasts longer than 10min, while in a bar, we'll have a shot. Figure we'll eventually start agreeing sooner rather than later...
I asked him why the bed was wet and got.."well there are two options... and its not you."
I can't thank you enough for the well-timed blowjob. What a huge improvement in my outlook on the day.
So I'll be starting a scrapbook from all the mugshots of the guys I've slept with
At this point it's more of an experiment to see how much actual bush growth is possible. See, being single can be both educational and surprisingly comfy!
I'm pretty sure the guy on the dance floor with crutches just smacked me in the butt with one. Do you think he's flirting?
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