dude, the reading rainbow guy was just talking to a HOLOGRAM
Are you sure you're not watching Star Trek?
wait... oh
a guy in a toll booth on I-90 told me to fuck off for not being a red sox fan. i am going to miss massachusetts very much.
This girl in the gym has an amazing body...too bad there's no workout routine for a face.
I'm glad you trust me to be your sex stat keeper.
Apparently Bin Ladens last act of terrorism is cock blocking me....
Dude. There's gotta be an article in Cosmo about it cause I've had three different girls tongue tickle my brownie this month.
We bonded over blowjobs and stories of our childhoods. It was beautiful.
I may or may not have had sex last night then sent him home on a bike with two flats
the whole bar just wished me luck with my booty call tonight
One public bathroom does not equal a wedding vow
I think it's getting serious, we started a jigsaw puzzle together.
well it was naive of you to actually think you're the only bday sex he had lined up for him today. I'm just suprised he actually had a line forming outside of his room
He grabbed a pine cone off the ground and yelled "I love cigars" then tried to smoke it for ten minutes.
Is it sad that I just pissed sitting down so I didn't have to stop eating doritos?
Well I just masturbated while reading a recipe for Alfredo sauce so I guess you could say I’m growing up
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