i was so high last night that i actually googled "how to get un high"
if you ask that question again our friendship is over
Her bacne/racne was so bad it was like having sex with bubble wrap.
That's terrible. At least give it a creative name like muff mobile.
How dare she call you insensitive. Should have told her about the time you let that girl in the wheelchair wearing the sombrero blow you.
I think I've officially made out with the entire starbucks staff.
Hey, next time you have sex, flick his balls, and tell him "thats for getting spit in jennifer's eye and laughing about it."
Just found bud in my hair....gotta love curls
Good afternoon everyone! Just texting to inform you that Andrew, your emotionally detached man-whore, will be back starting this weekend. Please RSVP.
Was she always missing a tooth or am I just now noticing it?
You know getting black out drunk at a cats birthday party should have been my lowest point drinking wise but some how I feel like last night was some how worse
Why would you get kicked out?
Well, an overweight man is currently not wearing a shirt. Or pants. And is getting in touch with his inner Chippendale. You can probably fill in the blanks.
If I could I'd magically teleport drugs and alcohol to you. Like a bad decision fairy.
thats all i want out of life, to get high and watch weiner dog races
They say you need two forms of ID, but in reality 1 nice set of tits works every time
Everything is scary i hate being an adult i hate responsibility tell me a dick joke
Randomize
