Very drunk. laura says hi. i can't find my pants. i think i'm in philly, but it might be jersey somewhere
omg this kid i'm babysitting is making a penis out of playdough ahhhh.
He just rolled me a 'baby penis' as opposed to his 'big boy' penis that he crafted...he just demanded that I roll him a penis.
You can tell alot about a person by their poo.. For example, he was a smoker.
i'd fuck the guy who invented dead baby jokes.
i googled "the goonies drinking game." i may be alone, but i'm living the college dream.
So my boyfriend is on his way over and there is no time to wash the sheets from when I had his roommate over earlier. Put them in the dryer with a damp bounce sheet. Win?
This is a whole new level of slut for you....do they smell ok?
we are cloud gazing and there is one that looks like a giant baby riding a dolphin and smoking a joint
i wish there was a reasonable explanation for why this reminds me of you
Not even close. I woke up in the bed of Codys truck. Wrapped up in a sleeping bed, using a stuffed alligator as a pillow. And Alex was laying naked beside me. Not to mention I wasn't wearing the clothes I got there in.
Some are given great drunkenness. Others have great drunkenness thrust upon them, in the form of ice storms.
LOOK AT MY HAIR, DOES THIS LOOK LIKE THE HAIR OF A PERSON WHO HAS HER LIFE TOGETHER?
he said he needs a little more pabst, some time to jack off and a sandwich and he'll be ready
It was a "my chaser needed a chaser" kind of night
I'm literally in my bed still trying to find the energy to take my corset off so I can binge eat oreos
sooo, that video of you eating lasangna with the strobe going magically reappeared on my phone
there's fucking coffee grinds packed all inside my pipe. what did i do
Randomize