Teenaged girls are God's best work and the Devil's best tool. Remember that my friend.
hypothetically speaking is slutty or smart to buy plan b before we go on spring break so i dont have to get it in mexico
About to see some guy and give him a glance that tries to express how sorry i am for blowing his friend while he was getting a BJ in the same room
Yes I have a handle on life. A handle of Svedka.
Katie told the cabby "when the boat docks I'm getting off with you"
By the way if you come home and I'm not wearing pants, just go with it. I didn't have the energy to go searching for some.
Just had an epiphany about how to drink more effectively in the shower. While walking across campus carrying a Franzia bag like Santa
I just had some kinky fun in the back seat of my car behind a Ralph's in south county. How's your thanksgiving eve?
my entire left arm went numb
you need to get that checked to make sure you're not wired to have strokes instead of orgasms
You spent the whole night conversing with your zombie poster, so I'd say you were pretty far gone.
Isn't it funny how we're still best friends after that incident with the old lady in the bathroom
You fucking bailed on me. But I love you still
He was cute in a Sketchy-trying-to-sell-you-a-vaccum-at-9-at-night kinda way.
she peed her pants, took them off, the put them back on. but she only put her legs in one hole.
I should probably apologize for licking you last night since you drove me home, but I stand by my decision
The report specifies "melted cheese food" as the cause of the burns. Your pride, like your cock, isn't getting out of this without heavy damage.
Randomize
