you dont need to remember merediths name haha. only jane
Pretty sure my dad just walked in on me jerking off watching guys on webcam. Remember how I used to say "most awkward day of my life?" I'm retiring that phrase.
Just woke up with three stitches in my left boob. Nevertheless, I think I'm going to like this school.
He asked if I wanted a dutch rudder. 1.) Who says that? 2.) How exactly does one do that with a girl?
I just watched a woman in a full wedding dress and veil walk out of the chinese buffet...I no longer believe I have a problem, and am afraid I am underdressed.
There's a bed on the roof. The window behind it is too small for it to go through. I'm impressed.
I'm going out w/ her for her b-day in a bit. I just talked to one of her drunk friends on the phone who asked if I could "handle 7 lesbian." This could be interesting.
Not sure how I feel about St Psts and March Madness being on the same weekend. I feel like I've been screwed out of a drunk holiday.
Will you trust fall hold me, so I can pee of this building.
I swear to God, if you have sex in my bed one more time you're gonna start paying rent
My blue shorts are now brown from all the stripper fake tan
He ripped my sink off my bathroom wall and then threw up in it.
I woke up this morning cradling my vibrator like it was a baby
i just remember that i was on top of him and he wasnt contributing to the event much.. god i hope he wasnt asleap.
I can't go to Fassler and not immediately think about you licking a guys wife's butthole in the family restroom
Randomize
