Whatever. They have the same name, so it's not even cheating. It's brand loyalty.
See it, we're so close, i smell your vagisil
he only lasted 2 minutes. he said it was because i was so pretty. i'm not sure what to feel right now.
they bet me shots that I couldn't give people piggyback rides around the club just cause I'm 125lbs and a girl...I had a line forming after the third guy.
Ok fine. Wild. Free. Like a stallion set free in a beautiful meadow filled with flowers and sexy lady horses
This shit I'm taking feels like I've eaten every burrito in the world and chased that with an aquarium of hot sauce.
apparently I crawled into someone's bed and demanded they call me 'big dog' before shotgunning a beer
It's a delicate game of how much porn can I look at without the other interns noticing.
I needed that adderall to break my tradition of passing out at the bar on Sundays
Was it you who made out with a toothless guy last night?
Bitch guess who just got a fucking taser
Sloppy and selfish. Your 27 and you don't know where my clit is? BYEEE
OMG MY DAD TOLD ME HE MIGHT DO TINDER
I gave him a handjob in the uber car. Life is really spiraling downwards.
So I just watched a seagul attack my boss and steal his food in the parking lot. Today might not be a bad day lmfao.
Randomize
