The line was so long at Kum n Go some guy opened & drank 2 beers from his 12 pack while waiting.
They past out watching a re-run of the 1984 presidential debate on cspan
I will never try to masturbate with americas funniest home videos playing in the background ever again
He gave me a promise ring. He promised that he will imagine me as every girl he fucks in college.
Dude, you walked in on me 5 times each times you had a different person with you. And each time you lifted the covers up and said 'whats going on in here'
We had sex and then he fed me pie. This is the best friends-with-benefits situation ever.
They glued all of the ceiling tiles shut.
oh my god. you caused complete remodeling to a college campus that you don't even go to
I've got to stop giving the gift of vagina for every occasion. I'm exhausted.
bartering with my concussed boyfriend to eat food with blowjobs
My ex-fiancee UPS-ed me a sixer of tall boys, and a fifth of bourbon for christmas, from halfway across the country. What does this mean?
Let's hurry up so I can puke at home instead of my van
I woke up hugging my purse and I found a business card in my underwear. How?
Turns out the guy I did all that coke with the other night is a cop
We're dating now
he asked me for a magic BJ...is that supposed to be different from a normal BJ?
CTFD. There’s plenty of dick in the sea! This is Vegas, we import dick. \nWorst case scenario we get a rental penis
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