I got into my dads silver toyota in the back seat to get picked up and 2 mins later I asked my dad when are we leaving, then an old mexican woman turned around. wrong toyota I'm guessing.
Drinking in an igloo changes everything.
I'm covered in egg mcmuffin wrappers and my room smells like dead hooker.
I just Tebowed the shit out of her.
Nice and you can't use "Tebow" in the place of every verb.
Is it cheating if its a threesome? This is more like a party game than infidelity.
the 5 D's of Dodgeball literally just saved my life
Lets think Pancakes and sausages into existence
First thing I find in the car I just pick up from my grandpa? A discount card for the strip club down the road from his apartment. The force is still strong.
You know that you're in a bad spot when the doctor puts you on 500mg of amoxicillin 4 times a day for ten days and puts refills on it...
I'm over here willing to be the Yoda of fucking but I guess he just doesn't want to be a Jedi.
It is such a beautiful day to not be arrested
While he was at a job interview yesterday, I was dropping acid. So that's the aesthetic of our relationship rn.
just had sex in the back of my high school auditorium #dreamcumtrue
She was giving me head, and a cop pulled up next to us. I freaked when he looked over at me, but so did he and rear ended the car in front of him.
Alex thinks he can revoke my dick privileges haha.
Isn't he the one getting all the privileges ?
Randomize
