I waited so long to accept his friend request that he canceled it. So I added him and when he accepted I deleted him. I wonder how long this will be funny to me
I have yet found the courage to put pants on. No judgement thursday led to no shower friday and now no pants saturday. God i miss college.
Smoked a Vape in the library status: completed
As a fat white girl from Texas I can honestly say that she gave fat white girls from Texas a bad name.
I peed on his girlfriend's loofah during our post-sex shower.
yeah the cable guy is coming and everybody is hiding all the pieces in the house. we are up to thirty two. like a fun game of smokable scavener hunt.
He's such a champ. He puked on purpose just so he'd be coherent enough to roll this blunt
Just got hit on by a 50 year old Englishman who is now swapping drunken racing stories with my mom. Live Mariachi band in the background. How's that for a wake?
He started going down on me while we were watching Land Before Time.
Incredible.
My sheer presence has sent the hipsters running in terror. I expect no problems.
unless you have a dick and you were thinking of chopping that off
In case you're wondering what frozen hashbrowns taste like at 4 in the afternoon, shame. They taste like shame.
I saw an episode of cops that had one of my ex husbands on it.
I just feel like if we dated, he'd just be crying the entire relationship
You'll probably laugh but I am currently in bed in the fetal position wrapped in only my ninja turtles towel. Save me.
Randomize
