My favorite part of our friendship is your tits.
I got tired of walking to the bathroom that I decided to throw up in a cup. I now have 3 cups full of vomit on top of my mini fridge
Apparently 151 is to me what spinach is to popeye.
I said make yourselves at home, not to put a used condom on my ceiling fan.
I wonder if our vaginas are like "o thank god, no strangers breaking in tonight." Baahhhh sooo bad
What are you doing and how can I add sex in there
There is a 5-year old here fighting 'drunk monkeys'. He tried to knock a drink out of my hand with a plastic light saber...
Just follow the currents of life. And if they take me on to a guys dick, so be it.
My boobs looked so good under the black light I saw a girl physically cover her boyfriend's eyes.
She had an asthma attack and had to stop but insisted on getting me off. It's official she's the one
Didn't think the day of being the oldest in a club would be when I'm twenty one. Even the bouncer looked surprised when he ID me.
I slid a quarter down a drunk man's butt crack last night. Qdoba gets rowdy
Is it day drinking when the suns up like when does that start
asking for a friend
He showed me his sex playlist and it looked good, so I slept with him.
Fuck this virus. We’re finally back on campus but the bars suck parties are banned sports are canceled we eat in our rooms and can’t fucking hangout with anyone. I’m tired of virtual classes and involuntary celibacy
OMG IKR! It’s not college unless we’re puking in a toilet wondering if we’re pregnant or just hungover!
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