I am looking at the epitome of fake boobs right now
Nailed a drunk college girl before the CU game Saturday, and a drunk married woman after the Broncos game Sunday.
Some perfection is debatable.
he has cookie breath... dont trust fat people.
You two were too busy to notice that his used condom landed on me when he threw it.. Thanks.
Okay, thats embarrasing even by my standards and I've thrown up while wearing a viking hat. just a viking hat.
He crawled in my bed this morning, ate me out, and even brought me a panera deli sammie for lunch at school. I don't care what he lied about, all is forgiven him.
This is going to be a 3 day beach sex fest. Do you understand
I don't think eating half of a pickle out of my mouth counts as getting to know me
He never gives up. He's like the fucking little engine that could of hook ups
Why is there an ambulance refusal in my pocket? I'm never going drinking with you again.
you got coffee,laid,and a sandwich. that never happens when I work
That guy was drunk and couldn't get it up so he just tried to scissor me.
I went to work hungover and threw up in the break room. Told them I was pregnant and then said I quit. I don't have a job now, thanks vodka.
I haven't had an orgasm since 2014. So you cam see why I'm having a bad year.
Do you ever get a cramp in like, ONE labia?
Randomize
